star trek captains logs

[fxb88]

ii have been writing these to some random topics which get buried over time so i'll post them here. they mostly reflect my personal opinions on the various shows, if you know star trek you prolly can figure out which show it is.
mostly just garbage but i have fun writing them so here we go

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captains log stardate 47634.44
our recent encounter with rogue tholian web weaver caused heavy damage through decks 6 and 9
worf is in sickbay after getting shrapnel through one of his livers luckily he has two
i finally made my intentions clear to dr. crusher, we went to holodeck and watched sunset together and had sex
finally i have explored the final frontier, womans body.
i keep citing shakespeare at every moment i can, no one seems to give a fuck except data who has learned to lie
i dropped a teaspoon at the mess hall, counselor troy started to cry damned betazoids
wesley crusher is going down the rabbit hole with his ketracel-white addiction
o'brien offered me some irish whiskey, i refused
i broke the temporal directive once again by going back in time to sharpen the nails which jews used to crucify christ
i didnt want him to suffer too much
i miss Tasha Yar she was a sight for sore eyes
temporal agent daniels paid me a visit, isimply said, the fuck you gonna do faget, as a result he traveled back and hid my flute somewhere in the gamma quadrant, sad i am
i am seriously considering leaving every betazoid on this ship to some random planet in the neutral zone. sick of their crying
we had to let guinan go, she started to demand pay raise, wtf bitch you do nothing, she was last seen on earth hosting some bullshit talkshow
i must hurry now, dr crusher is in the holodeck waiting for me, and you know what that means
"Cowards die many times before their deaths; The valiant never taste of death but once"

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captains log stardate 47634.44
chakotay has been confined to his guarters, we dont know whats wrong with him, doctor found nothing wrong in his examination
he keeps talking about some spirit animals and his ancestors.
Q if you hear me i am ready to trade chakotay and tom paris for our safe return to alpha quadrant
we keep destroying all kazon ships we encounter with great success
neelix has been stuck inside holodeck, we cant seem to be able to fix it, program is running we hope he is safe
i had b'elanna torres executed for espionage she delivered information to kazon
most of the maquis crew members were left behind on a hostile planet we just simply forgot they existed
it seems that rest of the crew notices their disappearance neither so i just let that matter be as is.
emilia has suggested asking xineophs opinion on this castlevania ossue which i am seriously considering

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captains log stardate 47634.44

station keeps functioning perfectly, kira has returned to bajor, we dont know if she will eve return
o'brien has once again hit the bottle, we expect him to return in few weeks
jake decided not to pursue journalist career, he instead focuses on ballet, i dont know what to think of it, he is adult so maybe i should just trust him
odo is again roaming in the promenade as a giant teddy bear scaring children, i might have to intrvene
quark has made a fortune all the bad blood we used to have, is gone
worf is mourning, his son alexander was killed in battle defending Qo'noS
bashir is expected to return soon from his trip to risa
maguis seem to have disappeared altogether. badlands seem emptier than usually.
wormhole is stable and secure
whereabouts of jadzia dax is unknown

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someones log stardate diversity
we have stolen some being from some other author, it allows us to go anywhere we want to in a blink of an eye, cool right?
some diverse human woman named michael burnham came aboard she knows everything does everything and is everything, we are useless
our crew consists of faggots lesbians androids and aliens, i sometimes wonder where babies come from
klingons guard some stupid crystals apparently, the crystals have some sort of function, dont know ask burnham
some angel figure keeps appearing when we are in tough situations, really handy, righ?
torpedo gets lodged in our hull, strong female went there erected force field around the room and exploded for some reason
should we build our ships with that force field shit? dont know ask burnham
we are running out of something, burnham knows another space jesus, a teenage girl who exchanges information for ice cream, ask burnham she knows
it turns out the angel was burnham or her mother because why the fuck not, ask burnham
some useless ai threatens us burnham deals with it
spock is some weird emo kid, burnham is his sister ofcourse. funnily nowhere in the james t. kirk's logs do they mention spock having a sister different ethinicity too
once again i dont know where or how babies are made
there is a space battle we burnham saves us
i think the ai is gone for now, thanks to burnham
we travel to past future or something dont know, burnham knows