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Old 01-12-2011, 12:20 AM   #21
MeltedLazerz
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Default Re: "Asian" vs. "Western" Parenting - An Essay

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I think we shouldn't focus on the 'specifics' of the article - but the rationale behind it. Like don't say, "Oh, that checklist she gave - I don't match up to that" but say, "Aha, I can see the reason behind the things".
lol, I was just sayin'.

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I think the rationale of the article was to explain this phenomenon - and what we can get by looking at the general points of the article is: effort. So I agree with that.

It's effort, maximum effort and non half-heartedness. I agree.
Yeah, it's mostly focused on effort. My parents had to work hard to get to where they were, and so they're trying to get me to work hard too. Although the article is probably more extreme than most Chinese parents.
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Old 01-12-2011, 02:54 AM   #22
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Default Re: "Asian" vs. "Western" Parenting - An Essay

More extreme than about 95% of parents. She's giving us future Asian parents a bad name
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Old 01-12-2011, 10:06 AM   #23
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Default Re: "Asian" vs. "Western" Parenting - An Essay

Really now? ...hmm... I'm not sure if you all seen Russell Peters, but here's a video that exemplifies the phenomenon.

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xzKHQX59Wso[/ame]
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Old 01-13-2011, 01:46 AM   #24
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Default Re: "Asian" vs. "Western" Parenting - An Essay

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Really now? ...hmm... I'm not sure if you all seen Russell Peters, but here's a video that exemplifies the phenomenon.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xzKHQX59Wso
ALL asian parents I know (my own included) aren't that strict about things. And I know a lot of people.
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Old 01-13-2011, 07:05 PM   #25
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Default Re: "Asian" vs. "Western" Parenting - An Essay

I didn't read all of any of this, just bits and pieces, so if I say something that has already been said or something, don't get mad

Anyway, I think that is ridiculous. That is what I like the most about the US. Freedoms to do what you want academically. Freedoms to do what you want in extra-curricular activities. If people are pushed to do something they don't want to, they will snap. It's as easy as that. You can't turn a rock into a feather. I personally think that when someone makes a mistake, you give them a chance to learn from it. Fix their actions/habits to correct the mistake. If they fail to do so, punish them. If they correct it, they've learned how to problem so when they get into the real world, they will know how to solve their own issues. That in itself is effective parenting. Some of that stuff that was bulleted in the OP is just flat out ridiculous. People skills are essential in the real world. If you have no social contact with anyone outside of school, you loose out on this experience/life skill.

I think that's all I have to say... for now.
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Old 01-13-2011, 07:35 PM   #26
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Default Re: "Asian" vs. "Western" Parenting - An Essay

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I didn't read all of any of this, just bits and pieces, so if I say something that has already been said or something, don't get mad

Anyway, I think that is ridiculous. That is what I like the most about the US. Freedoms to do what you want academically. Freedoms to do what you want in extra-curricular activities. If people are pushed to do something they don't want to, they will snap. It's as easy as that. You can't turn a rock into a feather. I personally think that when someone makes a mistake, you give them a chance to learn from it. Fix their actions/habits to correct the mistake. If they fail to do so, punish them. If they correct it, they've learned how to problem so when they get into the real world, they will know how to solve their own issues. That in itself is effective parenting. Some of that stuff that was bulleted in the OP is just flat out ridiculous. People skills are essential in the real world. If you have no social contact with anyone outside of school, you loose out on this experience/life skill.

I think that's all I have to say... for now.
My counterargument in Post #19. Basically, the kids do have the freedom to do what they want, as parents do often ask about the interest the kids have. It's the half-arsed attitude upon having the parents pay for the lessons/instruments to pursue their interest that truly causes the parents to snap. In a sense, its like a girl buying about 20 cloths a day using her parents money, but end up not wearing any of it and leaving them all in their wardrobe.

To bring up what I said in post #19, basically, asian parents tend to invest a lot in their children; if the child wishes to take piano lessons for $50 bucks/hour two hours a week, its not the kid who works for the money to pay the tuition (such as what some of my western friends do to learn piano) but the parents who cut back on expenses to fund the interest. Same with sport coaches and such. Simply put, asian parents are more invested emotionally and financially in their kids life than western parents.
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Old 01-13-2011, 07:50 PM   #27
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Default Re: "Asian" vs. "Western" Parenting - An Essay

I at first shunned away from this thread because of its length but I have to say that I glad that I read it. It does seem a bit extreme, but as Mauzel and Arcadian have pointed out, its seems to be all about effort, and not so much about forcing the child to do what they dont want.

Personally, I think that forcing kids to do put 100% into everything they do is acceptable. I know a lot of my early success are due to the fact that my parents pushed me to do my very best. They pushed me to do well in school, they pushed me to do well in sports.

But I have a question for you. How would an Asian parent respond to someone not pushing themselves to max later in life, such as post graduate? Like would someone working in a sweatshop still be pushed to go back to school, try to get better job, etc etc, or by that point is everything already set in stone?
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Old 01-13-2011, 07:58 PM   #28
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Default Re: "Asian" vs. "Western" Parenting - An Essay

I like the effort emphasised in Asian families. And that's the reason for success. They imbue a pressure cooker that makes the child put 100% effort in everything.

Now if bogan families put their children in an Asian family... oh boy, they'd be dead within two hours.

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But I have a question for you. How would an Asian parent respond to someone not pushing themselves to max later in life, such as post graduate? Like would someone working in a sweatshop still be pushed to go back to school, try to get better job, etc etc, or by that point is everything already set in stone?
I would say that they would be told to better themselves. Asian families have this huge stake on their family name - and if say, one family member was to be a criminal - that family name would be blasphemed. That's why discipline and expectations are very high in Asian families - in my belief.

I know that because I got the very big talk from my late grandfather who said, "You and your brother are the only ones who are going to carry on your surname. Make us proud. My daughter's children cannot carry on our name. My other son had only daughters. Your dad is the only son that has had a son... and thus carry on the family name... make us proud, stay away from trouble, do your best and strive always for excellence"

He went on for about ten minutes. All very interesting, may I say.
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Old 01-13-2011, 08:21 PM   #29
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Default Re: "Asian" vs. "Western" Parenting - An Essay

Its seems that the Asian families, and Asian societies in general, have an "old" style of honor. By old honor, I mean the idea that what you do reflects on your family. Dishonoring yourself is dishonoring your family, which is something nobody wants. Didnt the samurai rather kill themselves than be taken prisoner, because it was seen as more honorable?

I believe that the West has moved onto a different style of honor, an honor code that often reflects itself in things like gangs and what not. It doesnt hold the older and more noble sense that it used to.

Or am I being to general?
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Old 01-13-2011, 09:18 PM   #30
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Default Re: "Asian" vs. "Western" Parenting - An Essay

Sounds about right from the Asian point of things. 'Western' one sounds a bit bogan in its complexion.
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