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08-31-2011, 09:39 AM | #1 | ||||
Behold the Neep!
Nation: Neepolito Harnilito Current Wars | Foreign Aid Discord name: VanikHardil Alliance: bjalbert Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Somewhere Over There *points*
Posts: 11,635
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HEX, Editors Needed.
Hello all! I know we have some talented writers and editors here, and I need your help for a one or two time job.
Currently I am playing HEX (Hogwarts Extreme) and I have made it to be a teacher, well part of that is writing up 140 lessons. While I am a decent writer (in my own eyes) I still have problems with grammar and such. I am enclosing one of my lessons that I have completed below, and I would like anyone to come in and tell me what I am doing wrong so that I can learn from my mistakes and hopefully make everyone who takes my class happy instead of having bleeding eyes.. The quicker this is done the better. I have five lessons complete and will need to be edited once I know what I have done wrong, and eleven more classes to write before I am allowed to take a couple day break. All of this needs to be done by the 5th.. >_< Quote:
Please and thank you all.
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09-01-2011, 09:59 AM | #2 | |||
Behold the Neep!
Nation: Neepolito Harnilito Current Wars | Foreign Aid Discord name: VanikHardil Alliance: bjalbert Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Somewhere Over There *points*
Posts: 11,635
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Re: HEX, Editors Needed.
Bump? Please?
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09-01-2011, 07:34 PM | #3 | ||||||
Would Anyone Care to Lax?
Nation: SticksAndStones Current Wars | Foreign Aid Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Chicago
Posts: 1,711
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Re: HEX, Editors Needed.
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What you did was a comma splice. You can't connect two complete sentences like that without a conjunction. You can use a semi-colon to do that however. Quote:
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Might have missed some things, but they're minor. No major mistakes (other than the second sentence I mentioned.
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09-02-2011, 07:21 AM | #4 | |||
Behold the Neep!
Nation: Neepolito Harnilito Current Wars | Foreign Aid Discord name: VanikHardil Alliance: bjalbert Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Somewhere Over There *points*
Posts: 11,635
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Re: HEX, Editors Needed.
Thanks SLB, I appreciate the help, but can you explain the comma splice thing a bit more?
I know my babe, Cait says that what I do like this; "I waved my wand at it and it howled," Professor LeMort says showing a wave of his wand, "and he collapsed like a sack of potatoes!" - is wrong, and that either the first quotations should end in a period, or the middle text should end in a period to start a new sentence. Explain what she means?
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09-02-2011, 07:38 AM | #5 | |||||
Sic Semper Tyrannis
Nation: Joshmania Current Wars | Foreign Aid Discord name: Jooshbox234[Legion] Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 3,899
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Re: HEX, Editors Needed.
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09-02-2011, 09:32 AM | #6 | ||||
Behold the Neep!
Nation: Neepolito Harnilito Current Wars | Foreign Aid Discord name: VanikHardil Alliance: bjalbert Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Somewhere Over There *points*
Posts: 11,635
|
Re: HEX, Editors Needed.
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Hmm, maybe I should just give these random students names? It would make picking that stuff out easier, and rather than just 'the Hufflepuff' which there could be 12 of, it is 'Mr. Marco' or 'Miss Penelope', it works better don't it? Maybe give each student a little bio, maybe certain ones will be extra excited about certain lessons? I mean in Ghoul Studies there was a student described in there who recently became extra interested in it, one would guess he had someone close to him pass away.. Give the classroom depth?
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editors, hex, needed |
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