The 10 Cookie Commandments

[Lord Zarcaine]

{Figured why not give them their own thread ^_^}

Originally Posted by Lord Zarcaine

The Cookie Commandments

1. "I am the Lord your Stove, who brought you out of the land of cookielessness, out of the house of hungryness. You shall have no other stoves before me." {Unless I go out, then that stove will be your Lord.}

2. "You shall not make for yourself a carved image or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For I, The Lord your Stove, ama jealous Stove, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate me, but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love me and keep my commandments."

3. "You shall not take the name of the Lord your Stove in vain, for the Stove will not hold him guiltless who takes his name in vain."

4. "Remember the Stoveth day to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is the Stoveth of the Lord your Stove. In it you shall do no work other than baking cookies: you, nor your son, nor your daughter, nor your male servant, nor your female servant, nor your cattle, nor your stranger who is within your gates. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea and all that is in them, and rested the seventh day to eat cookies. Therefore the Lord blessed the Stoveth day and hallowed it."

5. "Honor your bowl and stand mixer, that your days may be cookiefull upon the land which the Lord your Stove is giving you."

6. "You shall not take shortcuts while baking cookies."

7. "You shall not mix your cookies together."

8. "You shall not steal cookies."

9. "You shall not bear false witness against your neighbors baking."

10. "You shall not covet your neighbor's stove, you shall not covet your neighbor's stand mixer, nor his whisp, nor his rolling pin, nor his counter top, nor his baking sheet, nor anything that is your neighbor's cookie baking equipment."

{On a side note, I may be going to hell for this one, so when I get there I will immediately set up a Legion post. Legion}