Thread: Zombie Thread
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Old 07-31-2009, 09:20 AM   #1
Feibelman
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Default Zombie Thread

Hello friends,

I was talking about Zombies on IRC and it quickly became apparent that many people here don't truly understand Zombies or their nature. They don't understand Zombie combat or Zombie evasion techniques. So, I bring this thread to you as a civil service. I am well read on Zombies and have studied the topic for some time. I will be more than glad to answer any Zombie questions you may have. I will be debunking Zombie Myths that have originated from Hollywood fiction and video games. The threat of a Zombie infestation is always looming and it is your duty to have the necessary knowledge to save yourself and your family.


The Basics
There are 5 main classes of a Zombie outbreak.

Class One- Small Zombie outbreak, number between 1-10 zombies. Easily covered up, no media attention.
Class Two-Slightly larger zombie outbreak, number between 10-25 zombies. Expect to see local law enforcement get involved. No media attention.
Class Three-Medium Zombie outbreak, number between 25-200 Zombies. Expect to see law enforcement and elements of National Guard.
Class Four-Large Zombie outbreak, number between 200-10,000. Expect to see Government involvement with a full military response.
Class Five-Zombies control most of the Earth, number between 10,000-Unknown. Armies have broken down, isolated pockets of humanity are all that remain.

Nicknames for Zombies
Perhaps you have heard these terms used, but never knew that they all refer to the same entity.

-Living Dead (Living Undead is a repetitive phrase that is derived from this nickname.)
-Ghoul
-Zach (The military callsign for Zombie.)

How the Virus works
Solanum is a blood born virus. It goes straight to the brain. Within two hours (approx) of infection, the host dies. Within another two hours of being dead, the corpse reanimates as a Zombie. There is no way to reserve this process as of right now. Being bitten by a zombie, getting Zombie contact on an open wound, getting transplanted Zombie parts are all ways of getting the virus.

How to Modify Your Home
In the event of a Zombie attack, laying low for the duration is not necessarly a bad idea. However, we must look at several factors first. Apartment buildings are not suitable. Too many people, too many entrances. The first step in fortifying your home is building a tall concrete wall, with steel reinforcements, surrounding your home. The wall should be at least 10 feet high. Barbed wire is unnecessary as Zombies do not feel pain. The second step is to take an axe to any stair ways leading into your home. Do NOT attempt to burn them down. That method has led to the fruitless destruction of many homes, what appears to be a time saver turns into a death sentence. Reinforce all doors, cover all windows. Yes, as long as the Zombie has eye balls, it can see. They will rot out eventually. A zombie can also hear, so sound proofing your home will be necessary.

You will need to stockpile enough food to last for years. You will need as much water as you can possibly store. You will need a radio and a pair of headphones to listen to it. Keeping abreast of news is not only a great way to stay informed, it will also maintain your sanity. Many people who have had the perfect fortress have committed suicide due to the incessant groaning outside their homes. It is nonstop, 24/7. Mental health is just as important as physical health. Speaking of physical health, you will have to maintain a work out regiment inside your home. Push ups, crunches, pull ups. In the event that you need to abandon your home, you need to be able to move quickly.

Keep a pack ready to go at the door with your weapon. If you need to get out of your fortress, you will be already packed.


Most importantly, if you plan on waiting out the Zombie threat, use the time productively. You could be in hiding for years. Learn a new language, learn new skills, draw, write, invent, create.

So, you want to kill Zombies
Hiding? Fuck that. You're a red blooded American hunter. You don't want to hide in your home like a pussy, you're a MAN. This is an approach as well. However, you go into hunting zombies with this type of bravado, you will be a Zombie snack in no time. Hunting and killing zombies is the only way to rid the world of Zombies, and it will take some brave men and women to do it. If you think you would be up to taking on this role, listen up.

You will need to choose the proper weapon for the job. You will need a weapon that you are adept at using. Train with your main weapon, whether it be your father's old hunting rifle, an AK-74, a Crossbow, or what have you. Train to make head shots under stress. Clean and oil your weapon regularly. You should be able to disassemble and reassemble your weapon with your eyes closed. Make sure that there is plenty of ammunition available in your area. Choosing a Barret .50 caliber sniper rifle may seem cool until you fire off your last round and realize that ammo is not commercially available.

Work in a team. Make sure your team members can handle themselves under stress and know what they are getting into. Develop strategies. Use vehicles to attract zombies. Use the lay of the land to your advantage. (One Indian Army battalion successfully lured thousands of Zombies to jump into a mountain canyon!) Have a safe secure base to fall back to.

Misc. Facts
-The only way to kill a Zombie is by destroying the brain.
-Zombies do not need air, food, water.
-Zombies do not feel pain or know fear.
-Zombies cannot think, they are not capable of any emotion either.
-Zombies do not have sex or give birth. They infect those that they bite.
-There have been recorded attack throughout history.
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Last edited by Feibelman; 09-12-2009 at 10:51 AM.
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