Charges against God dismissed

[Imperial]

A US judge has thrown out a case against God, ruling that because the defendant has no address, legal papers cannot be served. The suit was launched by Nebraska state senator Ernie Chambers, who said he might appeal against the ruling. He sought a permanent injunction to prevent the "death, destruction and terrorisation" caused by God. Judge Marlon Polk said in his ruling that a plaintiff must have access to the defendant for a case to proceed. "Given that this court finds that there can never be service effectuated on the named defendant this action will be dismissed with prejudice," Judge Polk wrote in his ruling. Mr Chambers cannot refile the suit but may appeal.

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/45113000/jpg/_45113869_-4.jpg
The plaintiff argued an omniscient God would know of the lawsuit

Source: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7673591.stm

[Assarax]

What. The. Fuck. How the fuck do you bring a lawsuit against God?! This senator's going to hell. Hands down.

[Lincongrad]

...and this guy's a US Senator? Dude... I'm not a huge fan of god (I'm mildly atheistic) but still, this is just nonsensical.

[FreeMason]

*sigh*

The guy's insane. Plain and simple.

[Pimptastic]

If you get a restraining order against god do you know how many churches and places of worship need to relocate?

[James Davis]

I'll jump in here since this bastard is from my state.

Ernie Chambers is an African American STATE (not US) Senator from a heavily black district of Omaha. He is a registered independent, but is extremely left wing. He is the most skilled filibuster artist in the entire state, maybe even the country. For three decades, he has successfully filibustered numerous anti-abortion bills despite Republicans controlling 37 of the 49 seats in the legislature (it's officially non-partisan, but ideological divisions still exist).

Perhaps his most impressive feat was getting a bill that outlawed the death penalty in Nebraska passed through the legislature (although it was vetoed by Dem Governor Ben Nelson).

Apart from being a skilled legislator, Chambers is also a civil rights activist and a flamboyant racist. He has called Nebraska "the most racist state in the nation," Nebraskans "the most hateful people in the world," and our legislature "48 bigots and a black man."

This has earned him a statewide approval rating below 10% and the nickname "the angriest black man in Nebraska."

In 2000, our legislature passed an amendment to the state constitution limiting the terms a State Senator could serve. Dozens of longtime members sacrificed their own seats just to get rid of him. It was nicknamed "the Ernie Amendment."

Now that you've got the background...

Chambers was upset over a lawsuit against a Judge who banned the word "rape" from his courtroom in a rape case. Chambers decided to sue God for "terroristic activities," including "terrifying tornadoes, horrendous hurricanes, etc," (he likes alliteration), to prove that anybody can sue anybody (which he views as a problem). Adding to the irony is the fact that Chambers is openly agnostic, leading to speculation that he picked God simply to piss off the rest of the state which is heavily religious.

Apologies for the wall of text, but this guy gets me riled up.

[Lincongrad]

Oh, also:
Brilliant political move.

[bigdaddychacha]

I guess I'll sue Santa Claus next, because everybody knows his address is The North Pole and millions of kids send him letters there every year! If he doesn't show, we'll put him in contempt!

I heard Chambers may be appealing this because since god is supposedly omnipotent, he doesn't have to be served with papers, he should just know that he's supposed to be in the courtroom on a certain date! Also, since some people say that he is omnipresent, he'll already be there, whether they want him or not!

You gotta admit, this guy has gone to ridiculous lengths to point out to these people that either their god is fictitious and hard/impossible to defend in a court of law or that, as someone else stated, you can sue anybody, anytime.

I don't necessarily think this guy is insane, without a doubt he's trying to prove some sort of very controversial point with this, and it's pissing a lot of people off (no doubt, as it was designed to.) Also, I used to live in Southern Indiana, and we'd all like to see an end to those, "terrifying tornadoes!" Those things terrified the hell out of me one time when I was just a poor kid! Also, I gotta go with him on this: why shouldn't the word "rape" be usable in a court that was hearing a rape case?!? That's just goofy.

[totem]

I dont believe this, God got away with it? your justice system is a sham :P

[Curtis16]

When he gets hit by lighiting, we know there is a God

[bigdaddychacha]

When he gets hit by lighiting, we know there is a God
Okay, I'll start waiting [checks watch].....nao!

...but seriously, what should we assume up until he gets hit? Or if/when he never gets hit and dies a cranky old man of natural causes surrounded by his loving family? hehehe ;D

[Lmcfalcon12]

This isn't the first I've seen about this, and it prolly won't be the last. I don't understand people like this. This is one crazy motherf****r.

[Pimptastic]

Just out of curiosity how does he think God will pay? Having no address means no bank accounts and well if he fails to show at court I don't see anyone getting cash off him.

What currency do you think God uses anyway like zimbabwe dolless? It would explain the inflation as they found Gods wallet and started counting it up and adding it to the money system but it stopped now cos even God doesn't have endless money.

[Assarax]

Just out of curiosity how does he think God will pay? Having no address means no bank accounts and well if he fails to show at court I don't see anyone getting cash off him.

What currency do you think God uses anyway like zimbabwe dolless? It would explain the inflation as they found Gods wallet and started counting it up and adding it to the money system but it stopped now cos even God doesn't have endless money.

Well obviously God would be expected to rain US currency down upon Chambers and the state of Nebraska. Though, I expect he would only want the money to go to him, since Nebraska is the most hateful state in the Union, and the legislature is 48 bigots and a black man, since a black man can't be a bigot at all...

[Pimptastic]

Wouldnt it be hilarious if God did actually make at rain money and the extra currency in circulation and spur of the moment crazy spending all the money crashed and ruined america even more lol

[Assarax]

Wouldnt it be hilarious if God did actually make at rain money and the extra currency in circulation and spur of the moment crazy spending all the money crashed and ruined america even more lol

Is that possible? Idk... might be a stretch, even for God :eyeroll:

[Professor D]

I saw this a couple months ago. This is so stupid. He'll get his.

[Megamind]

WAIT! Shouldn't someone sue Allah for what happened with the WTC? I mean that has to be the next "logical" step right?

[Pimptastic]

Well Im going to sue santa for not bringing me more lego when I was 7 and then next on the list is the easter bunny cos one time I got a tiny easter egg from him and then im pre-emptive striking on satan for assault when im in hell and just incase im not ill hit god for conspiracy towards abduction at the same time(since i didnt agree in going to heaven) then ill finish up with death for conspiracy towards mass murder and peter pan for tax fraud(yeah stay young forever never pay taxes i know your game)

[Vanik Hardil]

LOL that is funny..

[AzureShadow]

I love this guy. Once I turn 18, I think I might try to find a lawyer crazy enough to back me in a suit against god myself. :D

[Penguin Man]

Does the defendant (god) that i pray to and has my innermost secrets have an opening statement?? :P

Come on, This guy is stupid. :D

[leninrocks244]

As a reverend, I'm appalled to hear this blasphemy....... yes I really am a reverend, thanks to the Internet.

[Villalba]

Thus being another example of the complete and total stupidity in this sparrow fart world.

[tom the pit leader]

I found a new hero today.

But couldn't they just use the "when 2 or more are gathered in my name, I am there" card, and use that to get god into the room?

And if he did get stuck by lightning, couldn't he sue for assult? And then when god didn't show, god would become a fugitve, and anyone who helps a fugitive in any way is a criminal, which would mean about 90% of the US would go to jail.

[Megamind]

As a reverend, I'm appalled to hear this blasphemy....... yes I really am a reverend, thanks to the Internet.

Can I be a reverend too?

[tom the pit leader]

Unitiarin all the way, right? One of my cosisns got ordained in like 5 mins. online.

[CptMcArthur]

This guy gets my approval.

Anybody who is upset by the constant bull**** lawsuits around, and so proves his point by sueing god....

He's got balls.

I'd rather this guy than all the politically correct wankers around.

[Pimptastic]

http://www.universalministries.com/doctrine.html

lol

[Iron Wolf]

Lol, okay, I can't decide if I like this guy for the balls, or hate him. He called the state legislature 48 bigots, and doesn't get sued himself for either libel or slander? I forget at the moment which is verbal and which is printed. :p I dare any white man to walk into a gathering of black Americans and manage to get away with calling them all racists or bigots.

Like I said, dunno if I like the guy or would rather see him fade away with no one to remember him. I'm torn.

[Imperial]

http://www.universalministries.com/doctrine.html

lol

wtf...

"(along with $10.00 for a basic ordination certificate to be mailed to you, or $20 for a fancy ordination certificate)"

[Iron Wolf]

Lots of other than mainstream faiths use this to have their congregation's leader ordained. I had a friend back when I was living in Wisconsin that had Reverend papers from them (he is Wiccan) and my wife has the same papers from them for same reasons. That's right y'all, my wife's the Wicked Witch of the West. :p

[leninrocks244]

Can I be a reverend too?

Sure, just google "reverend free online"

[Megamind]

Can I marry people then? Like walk up to a girl and say "I hereby declare you my wife"?

[leninrocks244]

Can I marry people then? Like walk up to a girl and say "I hereby declare you my wife"?

Yeah. It totally makes you a reverend. I'm a reverend in two countries. One of them doesn't even exist anymore (USSR. I'm not kidding, they have it on there.).

[tom the pit leader]

Can I marry people then? Like walk up to a girl and say "I hereby declare you my wife"?

No you need a form from the state to do that. But I know people who would fall for it if you had a fake marrige lisence.

[leninrocks244]

No you need a form from the state to do that. But I know people who would fall for it if you had a fake marrige lisence.

Fuck the state. The Internet tells me that I'm a reverend, and so it shall be.

[tom the pit leader]

No, you only need a from to marry people, not to be a reverned.

[leninrocks244]

No, you only need a from to marry people, not to be a reverned.

Fuck forms. I'm a god damned servant of God in TWO countries.

[bigdaddychacha]

Fuck the state. The Internet tells me that I'm a reverend, and so it shall be.

Leninrocks doesn't appeal to the state or to god, he appeals to a Higher Authority: Teh Interwebz!

[leninrocks244]

Leninrocks doesn't appeal to the state or to god, he appeals to a Higher Authority: Teh Interwebz!

Damn straight!

[The Demon Lord]

Oh, also:
Brilliant political move.

Love when this can be used in real life.